Dropping the Jealousy

24 Apr

“What is she doing to look that good?” I asked myself. “And why don’t I look like that?”

It was a silly question asked only out of a twinge of jealousy.

green-eyed monster of jealousy

The green-eyed monster of jealousy can creep up on all of us sometime. (My cat as the jealousy monster, green with envy.)

There are a million reasons why she and I don’t look alike now, even if we did in college. We were both full-figured all through college and seemed like we always would be. Now, thanks to social networking, we keep in touch without staying close and I get to see all the reflection-in-the-mirror shots of how thin and smokin’ hot she looks now. And now I sound bitter. I am, of course, happy for her. And she really does look gorgeous and toned. But I want to lose that much weight too. And I don’t know what her diet or weight loss method has been. To be realistic though, whatever method she’s using may not work for me anyways. We all respond to different motivators and nutritional changes.

This sudden, fleeting feeling of jealousy is one of those inevitable things that can sabotage a weight loss plan.

The trick–which I’m finding is an ongoing learning process–is to  get over it quickly and keep moving, emotionally and physically. The longer I dwell on jealousy, self-deprecation, or frustration, the more likely I am to just sit around on the couch feeling sick and depressed and eating too much. But if I speed through the emotional reaction that has me feeling defeated and immediately focus my attention on something productive, I feel more energized, fulfilled, and optimistic. After I saw that most recent photo of her hotness, I logged out and watched a comedy show with my husband and cleaned out and organized all of our files, a project that I’ve been putting off for weeks. Once I got started, I felt great about getting it done, and I know I burned calories while doing it. I was standing, sitting, stretching out while sorting stacks of folders all over the floor, lifting heavy stacks of folders, and drinking lots of water.

Other tricks I’ve learned to get over weight loss jealousy:

  • Do not compare myself to others. Their lives, minds, and bodies are completely different from mine.
  • Focus on a favorite. Get rid of negative emotional reactions by replacing them with positive thoughts: a favorite feature of oneself, a favorite compliment someone said once, a favorite moment of laughter, a favorite confidence-boosting exercise or outfit, a favorite accessory, a favorite song, a favorite religious passage or inspirational quote.
  • Focus on progress made and rewards instead of what has not yet been accomplished. I’ve lost half an inch around my flabbiest areas, which makes me very happy. I think I’ll get myself a small reward when I lose my first five pounds or inches, whichever comes first. A great small reward for me is a manicure and pedicure. Once I hit a bigger milestone, like losing 15-20 pounds or a significant number of inches, I’ll probably go through my wardrobe and reward myself with a trip to the alteration shop or clean out the closet and replace a few things. When–not if–I hit my goal weight, which is about 40 pounds less than what I weigh now, I want to go out dancing to celebrate…and maybe take a picture of myself all dressed up. ;)

I am happy for my friend and I am inspired to see someone I knew change their life so significantly for the better in terms of health and weight loss. I am determined to keep making deliberate choices that will help me drop these annoying, yo-yo-ing pounds.

What helps you lose weight? What discourages you? Join the conversation in the comments section. Good luck! I know I need it.

–Michelle :)


One Response to “Dropping the Jealousy”


  1. Lift Your Spirit to Lose Weight « Diet Drop - April 25, 2012

    […] immediate reaction was, “At least it’s working for you,” before I quickly checked my jealousy and told him how happy I am for him, which I truly am. It makes me feel good to know that the […]

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