The Snack Monster

5 Apr

Late at night, when a hush falls over the city and the moon rises high in the sky, a throaty howling screech pierces the calm. Ripping, shredding, gnawing noises cause people to wake from their sleep, cats to arch and hiss, and the sirens of the police start blaring.

I wish I could say it was an attack. A single, isolated event in which I was the victim. But the  dark truth is that last night I was not mauled by a monster, I became the monster…the snack monster. Just past midnight, I felt my hair frizzing, my eyes widening, my stomach grumbling, and my mouth salivating for anything I could find that was salty or sweet.

The Snack Monster

Late last night, Michelle became...The Snack Monster! Illustration by Michelle.

 

Ok, so we’re not talking about a werewolf that poses any danger to anyone. And the people who woke up and the cat that hissed were my husband and my own kitty. And no police were called but the diet police in my head were certainly sounding alarm bells. I definitely was not myself, to say the least.

A caricature of Michelle on a normal day. Illustration by Vita.

A caricature of Michelle on a normal day. Illustration by Vita.

I could blame my ravenous behavior on still being somewhat discombobulated from our mini-vacation. I could blame it on PMS. Maybe those are factors at play. But it’s more likely that I just gave up on will power and passively chose to succumb to cravings. In my defense, it did feel more like hormonal eating than emotional eating. I’m more happy than stressed right now. But I definitely let it get out of control last night. My husband and I had a lovely dinner together at 7:00 p.m. He had the next day off and knew I was working on projects so he offered to cook. He made some shredded chicken with tomatoes and onions, boiled some choclo that we brought back from New Jersey (it’s giant Peruvian corn that tastes amazing), and I made us a salad (spinach, tomato, alfalfa, apple, pickle, lime juice). He read some news online, I edited some photos from our trip, we watched South Park, and then he went to bed. I was still wired, so I kept editing photos and watching TV. That’s when the sweet tooth hit. Three pieces of chocolate. Yum. Not enough. Two Pop Tarts. Yum but also kinda gross–an obscene number of calories. The sweet stuff wasn’t satiating the snack-crazed beast that was rising up inside of me. It started to take over. Doritos. Munchie Mix. Pub Mix. The last little bit of pad thai. Sunflower seeds. Two MORE Pop Tarts. It was a borderline binge. My belly swelled to full Snack Monster size. I felt gross, stuffed, and finally sleepy. I rolled myself to bed wishing none of it had happened.

At least I drank a lot of water throughout the night. I woke up this morning feeling bloated. I won’t eat much today and I will drink a lot more water to help re-balance my system. Ugh. It happens once in a while though. I hope to be able to conquer this monster some day. In the meantime, I just have to watch out and try to avoid it. I should have just tried to go to sleep when my husband did. Late night TV alone time is a danger zone when you’re trying to lose weight.

Good luck battling your own internal Snack Monsters! Share your stories with us, too, in the comments section.

–Michelle

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