Meet Michelle

6 Mar

Hi, I’m Michelle.

My weight has yo-yo’d up and down all my life, especially in the past few years. I have tried several types of diet plans but usually it’s my self-esteem that drops, not my weight. You see, I have been living with dysthymia, a form a clinical depression, for many years and it makes it more difficult for me to not get emotional or have anxiety about things like weight loss and achieving goals. The root of my depression is best left for another post on another day, but the good news is that my emotional and psychological health is the best it has been in a long time and that makes this a good time to tackle this weight loss objectively and with a new outlook and attitude. Having my dear friend, Vita, on board with supporting each other through each day’s mini-battles (bread or no bread, chocolate or salad, etc.) makes it easier and even fun! Through our discussions and the therapeutic nature of keeping a blog and journal about what we’re going through is really helping take all the pressure (self-imposed and from society) out of the weight loss equation.

Like Vita, I have noticed a significant change to my metabolism in recent years. We are both 28 years old and we’re facing this as a new challenge. Gone are the days of our early 20s when we could just drink more water and cut out sweets and see a few pounds drop off. Now, even as I’m adjusting portion size, increasing my exercise, etc., I’m not seeing results yet, and it’s frustrating.

[And as a side note, I want to add that women face very different weight loss hindrances than men do. Women’s weight–especially water weight–fluctuates throughout every single month. Because of that–and our mutual distaste for scales–we’re only going to check our weight and measurements once a month or every couple of months. For me especially, it’s important to not get hung up on the numbers but to instead focus on health and toning my shape.]

I was a competitive athlete (figure skating) growing up with a rigorous training schedule that kept my weight down throughout my youth. Unfortunately, when you go through puberty, you have to re-learn how to do everything with your new body. I became bulimic when I was a teenager and because of that and knee pain, I stopped skating for almost nine years. That’s when the bad yo-yo-ing started. Without a regular exercise regimen, my weight was all over the place. I kicked the eating disorder and made progress on my emotional health but I have never been satisfied with my weight or physical shape. I have a natural hourglass shape that is exaggerated, especially on my lower half, whenever I gain a few pounds. Dropping weight around that lower half is the most difficult.

I picked up skating again a few years ago and it really is the best full-body workout I’ve ever experienced. (And even my skating coach has told me to lose the weight now because it’s only going to get harder and harder with age.) However, it is an expensive sport, so I supplement it now with yoga, stretching, and hiking. However, at my age, that’s apparently not enough now. So that’s when Vita and I started sharing recipes, no-bread-for-a-month goals, and ideas for this anti-diet diet blog. I dislike diet plans because things like calorie-counting and strict meal plans tend to set off emotional or anxiety triggers that take me back to my guilt-ridden eating disorder days. I am optimistic that I will have more success with this attempt to drop weight because we’re focusing on healthy eating choices and Vita and I are able to help each other with consistency without getting hung up on silly idiot diet-saboteurs like guilt or self-deprecation.

I am very blessed to have a friend like Vita and even more blessed to have a loving, supportive husband who appreciates me and loves my body no matter what shape it has been. But the fact remains that I am not happy with my body shape or weight. I am down to only one pair of jeans that fit. In the past, that would have sent me spiraling into a severe bout of depression. But now, I’m looking at it as a good challenge to tackle head-on and I’m looking forward to being able to wear those smaller clothes again. Just two years ago when I got married, I was about a size 10. I am now back up to about a 15. I say “about” because sizes on women’s clothes are not regulated and are rarely consistent even within a single brand. I’m currently wearing clothes, comfortable, that range from a size 13 to 16. I am glad that I learned a long time ago to discount clothing size and to just focus on fit. That said, I felt much better with the way my smaller clothes fit than I do now with my more limited selection in my closet. Getting to wear my favorite jeans and dresses again–without struggling to get into them or trying to hide my love handles–is my motivating factor right now.

My hope for this blog is that Vita and I can drop the weight we want to and share what we learn in the process for other people who want to drop a few pounds and hate dieting as much as we do. Stay tuned for angry rants about craving bread, helpful healthy recipes, and progress reports (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

Thanks for reading!

–Michelle

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One Response to “Meet Michelle”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. My 5 Reasons to Lose Weight! « Diet Drop - April 19, 2012

    […] have different reasons behind wanting to do this [for related posts, read About Us, Meet Vita, and Meet Michelle]. Here are […]

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